Most times the blogs you read about my trips are written during the week. This way you get all the mundane minute details; the details that Jugs' loves. Sadly this is not the case, I am writing this blog today.
So New Zealand, to sum up in six words
Baa Baa Baa
Bar Bar Bar
Basically all that's there is sheep and beer. Not a bad thing if you are up for some bestiality, if you aren't there are other things to do too.
So my flight was on a Sunday afternoon and I was flying on United to LA then on Qantas to Auckland and finally to Wellington. On my flight to Auckland, which was the 12 hour flight, I had an exit row and leg room for days. So I was a very happy camper. Like always the food and service on non US airlines is many, many times better. After dinner they came through offering a night cap of hot chocolate and marshmallows; double awesome! When I arrived in Wellington I went to the lounge and had some vegemite, which is for intents and purposes, yeast jelly, it's awful and a half. What's also awful and a half is the fact that they didn't open the bar until noon and it was currently a little after 6 am. When I landed in Wellington I was met by a few New Zealand armed forces personnel and they took me to the hotel. I actually had a corner hotel and no twin bed so I was a happy camper. Then I found out the rest of the US delegation was on the top floor. Cheeky bastards. Crossing the International Date Line it was already Tuesday. Since I got there late I actually had to go to work that same day. What the hell, I've been up for 30 hours leave me the f alone. I walked over to the conference center and set up some of the network. That night I went out with some of the US guys, I never knew I could get a 6th wind, but I did. We went to a chicken rotisserie called Nandos then we went to a bar and watched some rugby. Europeans may be all about soccer, but New Zealanders love rugby. It's on 24 hours a day and often the same matches are repeated back to back to back to ∞. Ohh they also love net ball. This is the worst thing I've seen post curling. It's only a game for girls, its basketball without a backboard and you can't dribble; you can only pass and pivot. It's the worst thing in the world, the people there eat it up likes its good for you.
Wednesday was not the first day of the conference but needless I was still there in suit and tie working. It was a pretty chill day, set things up, gave a brief, and surfed the hell out of the internet. Wednesday night for we had our ice breaker, then I called it a night to focus on my studies. Whoever talked me into going back to school deserves a kick in the shins.
Thursday I woke and went down to breakfast, breakfast everyday was on the 16 floor and it was a full buffet. One thing I noticed New Zealanders like is baked beans at breakfast, go figure but its good shit. Thursday I gave a full briefing to all of the delegates, I answered all the questions, and my boss gave me a thumbs up. Since I wasn't staying for the entire conference I was going to miss the cultural tour. So I made my own. That night I went to the National History Museum called Te Papa. It was really cool, 6 floors talking about the flora and fauna of the country. Lots of talk about volcanoes and plate tectonics. They had an interactive earthquake simulator; they had displays about the different immigrants from Europe. The national people called the mauri. They had displays about green stone which is found in abundance there, you may know it as jade. I spent a few hours there and then came home.
Friday I worked and went to lunch that day, had some really good Indian food. Love me some Naan bread. Friday night I went back to Nandos and had some more of that awesome chicken. Then we went to hit up some happy hour beers. 3 dollar beers on a Friday is pretty awesome, keeping in mind with the currently exchange everything was on sale by about 30 percent. USA USA USA. Not so much right now, we are really sucking, but the week I was there we were doing pretty well. Had some beers, played some pool, and watched some rugby. Started to enjoy it once I learned the rules, although once I learned the rules I had to figure out which rule set I was watching. Rugby Union, Rugby League, and Aussie Rules Football. All very similar but don't say that aloud in a bar unless you are prepared to discuss the pussiness of gridiron. You may know it as the NFL. I'm not really a football fan, if I don't see another match this year it'll be okay, but I decided to engage and defend the US and A. The basic argument by New Zealanders is we are pussy because we play in pads. Now many of the Rugby guys are pretty big guys, very strong, very thick no neck individuals. I they could probably all beat my ass, but in the NFL the guys who are my height and guns weight and strength are the smallest guys in the NFL. The collisions in rugby aren't that tough either. I describe it like two guys in WWF who lock arms and then fight that way. Also when they collide there is only about a 10 or 20 feet run up and generally it's more like a hip check. In the gridiron you have a 10 or 20 yard run up and you are transferring all of you weight, momentum, and force into another individual. People are never carried off on stretchers in rugby, that shit is standard in the NFL. I didn't win the argument because there is no convincing these people, but I was happy to debate him.
Saturday I did more of the same work and then took a 3 hour lunch to get some shopping done. Saturday was the end of the conference, that afternoon I went on a cable car ride up to the top of the mountain and took some pictures. Took a walk through some botanical gardens, very very purty. Sunday I packed up my stuff, gave a final out briefing and went home and worked out. That night I was really in the mood for some steak, but I hadn't made any reservations. I didn't know that still existed, so I was turned away from two restaurants. Looking the way I did probably hurt my chances as well. I was dressed like me typical self. I finally found a restaurant that would take my clothes self, I got the most choice table, right next to kitchen, oh well I just wanted some beef. The reason I was jonesing for some beef was that they pretty much only eat chicken and lamb and fish there. After a while you just want some beef.
Sunday we had a hot wash, which is just another way to say group meeting. After the meeting I went to McDonalds because nothing is open on Sundays in New Zealand. Shops restaurants are all closed, that's not very capitalist. After lunch I went home watched a movie then went to Parliament and went on a tour. Very cool, since they used to be a part of the commonwealth, they have a very nice House of Commons and House of Lords. It was built during Henry the V or VI reign, I don't remember now. It was an excellent tour. That night we went to only one of a few restaurants that were open. An Italian restaurant. I had a pumpkin bacon pasta dish, it was pretty tasty, but there was too much bacon. There aren't often times in life when you say, hey can you dial it down on the bacon, but this was one of those times. After dinner I went home and packed since I was going to be busy all of Monday.
Monday we went to yet another meeting, but after I got through that I went shoe shopping then on a half day Lord of The Rings tour. Which was also sweet and a half. It ended up being more a tour of Wellington, which was still excellent. We went to Mount Victoria where we saw a 360 degree view of the city. Next we went into the forest which is technically a temperate rain forest. Amazing trees and plants, ferns and shrubbery. We did manage to get some LOTR stuff in, but there are no more set or scenes left. They are very green there, so once everything was assembled they disassemble things. So the tour guide and movie stills from the scene and the pointed out trees as focal points. Still pretty sweet if you ask me. After the tour we went to a Mexican restaurant, it wasn't El Paso, but it was still tasty and they had Centanrio tequila, mmmm bitch.
Tuesday was my flight back home. Through the gloriousness of my travel department they booked a 7 hour layover in Auckland, oh well, beer me up. Going home the flight was pretty empty and I was able to finagle a whole row for myself. I've never slept for more than an hour at any point on a flight, this time I got 6 hours, pretty fucking sweet. The remaining segment home was non eventful. So that ladies and gentlemen is New Zealand in a nutshell. Very pretty and a real melting pot of a culture I highly recommend visiting it someday.
see you in a few,
jacob
