Thursday, December 20, 2007

croatia in pictures

because escobar is impatient, here are the croatia pictures


from the air

airport canopy

view from my room

same

a pirate ship

the view was awesome okay

last one
at the palace

inside the palace

inside a tower inside the palace

in a walkway in the palace looking at another tower

the most famous architect of croatia, not the architect of the palace though
and my personal favorite photo

mas towers

little bit of croatian cosby

some of the beers i drank, the one on the left was my favorite

croatian putt-putt

mini formula-1 croatian style

down by the water

again

some random cat that showed up at the conference

twin beds = no hanky panky...
california king = no hanky panky, so either way...

entrance to some church

croatia from the sky

gays this way

this is what we do in the boys room

we do this too

and here is what i had for dinner one night, the red-snapper

well there you go, hopefully you enjoyed them as much as i did

ill be back in '08

jacob

Sunday, December 16, 2007

croatia in words

Croatia in words

I know I told a lot of you I was going to Split, but I actually went to Trogir. Still on the Adriatic, still nice. Normally I begin day one with traveling, but this blog begins with the day before; traveling to Tucson to spend the night with my cousins so I wouldn’t have to get up so early Friday morning. Well I checked, rechecked, double checked, and tripled checked. Passport and underwear, all I need. Well I was also going to take some food to my cousins that way it wouldn’t spoil at my place. I accidentally left a loaf of bread and a dozen eggs on the counter. That should be a hell of a stink bomb when I come home in 11 days. The flight over was okay, I was thrown out of my exit row seat and had to sit in the center, but it was next to a nice old woman and we chatted it up on the way to Dallas. The flight to Frankfurt was just fine, a little turbulent, but no big deal. I had some sort of beef dish on the way over and then their super discount continental breakfast in the morning. I finally saw the Simpsons movie and I also watched Hot Rod. Hot Rod really sucked, Samberg and Hader definitely need to stick to making digital shorts on SNL. Tried to sleep but it didn’t really work. For whatever reason we were sitting in business class on Lufthansa going to Split. So we had access to their lounge. It was fairly swanky, they serve beer, wine, and liquor and it’s all free. We had some sort of spinach egg omelet and the worst honey dew I’ve ever had in my life. Flying over split was really nice, the Adriatic was beautiful. It’s a very very small town, only here because of summer tourist. The hotel, www.hotelmeden.com , looks much nicer here than it does in real life. Its forty years old and you can definitely tell it’s a former Yugoslavian state, I don’t think the décor has changed since the original. I had a balcony which was nice and of course dual twin beds, so that I could not partake in hanky panky.

Saturday I got to the hotel and went to bed, slept until 4 got up watched some entourage and went to dinner. We had dinner at the hotel and it wasn’t very good. Went to bed and got up at 4 in the morning. Did my homework until breakfast at 8.

Sunday was a slow day, just set up the network and did all the updates and restores we needed. Sunday I went to the Kamerlengo Fortress and had some pretty good dinner. Walked around, really was quite an experience. Cobblestone floors, all the window have outward facing working wooden shutters.

Monday was the preconference and it was pretty laxed. I can’t really remember what I did now, but after the day was over I went to their gym and met an Australian named Taylor. Couldn’t really understand a word he said, but it was an enjoyable conversation. He wished he had learned more about computers; he was amazed that a kid from Texas would be doing the computer network at a conference in Crotia, I said yeah pretty sweet gig. He told me he was sorry I had to come in winter because there is no one here. Had it been in the summer and there were babes here I would have been laid twice a day. A fact I scoffed at in my head, but you never know, I’ve been told I’m not really that ugly. After that I went to a pizzeria and had a pretty good Hawaiian pizza. Went back to the room and finished up my entourage dvds.

Tuesday was the start of the conference; we had the in briefing and the roll call of nations. Took a group photo and then went on a coffee break. Ahhh the life. Tuesday night was our ice breaker, had quite a few beers and a shitload of calamari. Passed out at 2130, stupid time change.

So now it’s currently Wednesday and it pouring. We had a thunder clap that almost lasted 10 seconds. It kept roaring and the windows were rattling. Really something else. Im supposed to go on the cultural today, in about 3 hours, hopefully its stops raining. I think it’s in the forties right now, but this is where I get the bulk of my pictures, so I hope they don’t cancel it.

Alright well I’m going to get back to getting paid to do my homework. I’ll finish the rest up later. Alright, well now its Friday morning, I’ve been up since 3 am, I’ll tell you why a little later on. Let us resume from the un-canceled cultural tour.

Our cultural tour was to Split, about 35 minutes away but 1.21 hours because of traffic. We were going to tour the Diocletian palace. A Roman structure that was built in the 3rd century BC. It rained the entire time we were on the bus, but thankfully it subsided by the time we got to the palace. The sea was really rough that day, not too often I get to say that but, that’s what it was. There was a lot of graffiti on the streets. A lot of swastikas and crossed out swastikas. A lot of long live rock and ac/dc, I guess they shun that genre. And my favorite was emo sucks. So I didn’t know if they meant the kids or the person, either way they both suck. It was pretty cold and windy throughout the tour. We walked around the basement, and the courtyard, and went through various small passages. The entire palace is now an outlet mall, which is kind of sad that they couldn’t have done something better with it. But the place is a few hectares big, and the economy is dependent on tourism money, seems like that was the only conclusion to be drawn. Stopped into an Italian restaurant while I was there and had a really good spaghetti fettuccine with salmon and calamari. Love that calamari. Then the rain started to pour, walked around, stopped at the Lacoste store and Pierre Cardin store, but neither of the girls working the counters knew what my metric measurements were, nor did they care. I guess I could have ball parked it, but I couldn’t figure out the exchange rate in my head and I didn’t feel like getting a bill for hundreds of dollars when what I thought in my head was different by a decimal place. Got on the bus passed out and woke up we were at the hotel. Put my clothes on the radiator and went to bed.

Thursday was going to be a first full day of work, at least with no planned interruptions, i.e. cultural tour, in briefing, and the like. It was a rough day to get through 10.5 hours and most of that was without internet. But I finished all of my database homework. Went to the gym and then went back to the pizzeria and had two pizzas. Fast forward 6 hours from that time and you’ll know why I was awake at 4am, heartburn. I guess at 24 I’m aging because I had killer heartburn or indigestion, not sure which. Ive only ever used pepto bismal for upset stomach. But now I know that their commercial isn’t lying when it says it takes care of heartburn, bloating, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea you know the jingle. So like all European tv you can always find some naked girls on tv doing naked stuff. Read some from my java book, then watched a little old school Americas funniest home videos with Bob Sagat, circa ’95 and then some everybody loves Raymond. It was in English with Croatian subtitles, I thoroughly enjoyed.

So now is Friday and only a half day, get to pack up and have an outbriefing and cultural dinner. Hopefully its pretty tasty. We found out that the cultural tour was going to be at the hotel, which meant hotel food, so we high tailed it back to the Kamerlengo fortress for dinner. Walked around and got lost a little bit, had some veal cutlets. Didn’t really care for the veal, but now I know. Went back for the traditional dinner and sure as shit it was hotel food, but the alcohol was flowing. Red and white wine and beer. And like always the nations bring their own, so had some good scotch whiskey from Scotland and some death looking black licorice drink from Finland. It made jager its bitch. Our entertainment was the Croatian Naval Acapella group. They were fantastic, had no idea what they were saying but that was okay. They sang one Elvis song and it was great. Got into an argument with the Germans on how to drink Jager, evidently they sip it at room temperature there. Well when I bought a round I said prost, and slammed that bad boy down. They were looking at me in disgust, while they sipped it. I said don’t you slam this in Germany? No, it’s a sipping after dinner drink. “Well in America we shoot this” and I slammed one more. Well they didn’t care for that. So I cleverly said, “USA! USA!” I guess anyone can be an asshole drunk. We were friends in the morning, so it’s all good. Since the airport doesn’t open early we had to overnight in Frankfurt. Stayed at some industrial area of Frankfurt where the prostitutes run rampant, at least that’s what it seemed like, didn’t see any. Had some fantastic un-pasteurized german hefeweizen and delightful red snapper with coriander foam and rice, it was a little foo foo, but tasty. Sunday was our flight and I watched all three movies on the plane. Not much left to say, had a good time, recommend you go there, not for a week, but a day or two trip.

Herpes free since ‘83

jacob

Sunday, December 9, 2007

lost wisdom

lost wisdom Sorry I didnt post this last week. I thought I had written it earlier and I was busy with finals this week. I had my wisdom teeth removed back in October. Not because my dentist said to, not because the maxiofaciallary surgeon said to, but because my hip African-American dental tech said it would be a good idea. The DDS said I should have them removed because the 3rd molar and the wisdom tooth could form pockets which could lead to decay and death. The MD said I should have them taken out because the nerver that runs along my mandible was about a milimeter away from the wisdom tooth root and that would cause an extreme amount of pain. The hip African-American said, "Dude, you don't need them. Might as well have them taken out, you have a small mouth and you already have 32 teeth, you don't need 4 more. Best logic I ever heard. So I scheduled the teeth to be extracted and my mom freaked out. You cant have them taken out, youre not in any pain, whos going to take care of you, you cant drive home from the doctor, youll be under general anethesia. Andrew had his taken out, he wasnt in any pain, Im having it done in Tucson, Ill be fine. "No, Im coming out" Okay OKay OKAy OKAY. The extraction was a lot of fun, they gave me some NO2 and I was super laughy. They also gave me 14 shots in the mouth, they could have removed all my teeth and I wouldnt have felt anything. The doctors assistant kept making me laugh during the surgery which kind of upset the doctor. He was having a hard time pulling one of the teeth out and I started laughing at him. My two bottom teeth were pretty much perpendicular to the back molars so he had to break them. He said okay youre going to hear a little crack. It sounded like he was crushing walnuts. I could see him wincing during, you see I have extremely hard teeth from all the milk I drink. I felt no pain afterwards, just completely swollen. I think I lost 5 lbs. from all the meals I missed. I ate a lot of applesauce and pudding that weekend, so I had no problem putting the weight back on. Since I was so hungry I moved to solid and crunchy food a little too soon and caused myself quite a lot of pain. After about 6 days the swelling went down, but then bruising showed. Very yellow, I looked like a jaundice victim. When I went back to have my stiches removed, I asked the assistant about the bruising, she said she punched me while I was unconcious. What she meant to say was they had to break my jaw to get some of the teeth out. OH LOVELY! My mother stayed with me one night and again refused to use the blow up mattress she bought for herself. So an idle mattress awaits one of you hotties, still waiting to be christened.
Forever Rico y Suave,

Jakey


here you can see the perpendicular wisdom teeth, bottom left hand corner and bottom right

removed perpendicular wisdom teeth

and the swollen aftermath

Sunday, November 25, 2007

SARC07

The Southern Arizona Racquetball Championships were a few weeks ago and as many of you know I was ousted in the first round of both divisions. Granted I moved up two divisions from last year, nevertheless, I shouldn’t have lost so soon. There are a million reasons why I lost but none matter because I simply and frankly didn’t play better than my opponents. Game 1 Friday evening at 1930, “C” division was against someone from Nogales. Now a lot of you know my record against Mexican nationals, don’t know why they are my Achilles heel, but they just are. I played well, but I lost 15-14 and 15-12. I played well because I had him cursing the entire game, mamon, mames, and mamey, but I guess I should take up cursing because I lost last year that way too. If I had to make an excuse, it would be that the game was late or that I tried to kill the ball when I didn’t need too, but in reality I just stunk. Oh well! Next day 0830 my first match in the “B” division, playing a guy who has only been playing for 1 year. Isn’t that special! Well I lost to him 15-13 and 15-11. And he had the nerve to say if we had to go to the tiebreaker I would have won because he was out of gas. Lovely! So my day was over at 0900. I tried to get into the consolation tournament but the tournament director wouldn’t allow it because I was playing in two divisions. Doesn’t make any sense but what are you going to do? There’s no one who reads this blog who could beat me in racquetball, but I’m sorry I let you all down. There’s a Toys for Tots tournament next month, but it just isn’t the same. I promise next year I will include pictures of me with a trophy.

Full on humble pie,

Yours

Sunday, November 18, 2007

54 of 50

We here at MAIB have hit our first milestone a few posts back. 50 blogs, actually this is 54, thus far. And what a journey it’s been. From the series debut, to November and February sweeps, and now into syndication already. We would like to thank all of our viewers, past and present, some of you have been lucky to make guest appearances. I would like to thank all of you for the fan mail over the years, yes it has been years already. This is only the first of many milestones I believe, as I have a full slate of travel in 08 and 09 already scheduled. I appreciate all of you immensely and I only write this piece because of all of you. I hope you all continue to enjoy my tales. Below is a list of every episode thus far. Which is your favorite? Are you like me? Can’t decide? There all my favorite! Yeah me too! Like always, thanks for the love and I look forward to the next 50.

Sincerely,

That guy.

******************************************

54 of 50

Fieldtrip

Columbus Day

3rd house guest

TSAS of the World

Anton Weismann

Budapest in pictures

Budapest in words

Labor Day

Global mis-adventures in bachelorhood?

Dallas doubles series one

Clara’s wedding

June 07

Virgina

New York new York

Trix

40 days and 40 nights

March on in

The very unannual sweepstakes

Salt Lake City

Death of a truck club

Jesus’ birthday aught 6

Jax

Dallas doubles series V

Sweepstakes revisited

Southern Arizona Racquetball Championship

365 days in Sierra Vista

2nd House guest

Texember part ^ 3

Texember part II

Texember part 1

First house guest

The aristocrats

Worst day ever

Racquetball

D terminal

Bahston

Greatest one day road trip

It’s pronounced hu-vai-he

I thought I’d never get to participate in this stupid game

Sweepstakes

Clip show

I wish I were a pussy

W.W.B.D

What to do

Maybe it’s because I’m a business major

It’s not a rerun

New blog

Too mucheth timeth on your hand me doth pretest

What is all the fuss about

What’s hash’s tall friends name again

Story time

Blog 3

Padre 05

tcejbus on reve golb tsegnol

Sunday, November 4, 2007

fieldtrip

Well its that time again. Jacob's best attribute is his ability to get out of work. I've been told many a time, "If you worked as hard as did at your jobs as you do trying to get out of work, you would already been in a C-level job." Be that as it may, Its time for another visit from your favorite bloggist. This time I will have the dates January 30 or 31 through Feb 3. Ive christened a lot of couches in that time and Im willing to (re)christen yours. So let me know if you would like to have some fun together. There are already some front runners who have emailed me personally, but it is still open to all of you. So let me know.

I made spam and potatoes with sauteed onions, fantabulous it was!

Jacob

Sunday, October 28, 2007

columbus day

columbus day

I had another 3 day weekend and utep had another home game so I went home. Got home around 10 and went over to Hemingway's. juse, Richard, bob, luis, guns, Carla, drew, hash, alexa, luis' sisters, and bobby all showed up. It was nice to see all of them. I had never talked with bobby before, but we were able to have pretentious ive been abroad conversations. Hemingways has upgraded their beer selection nicely, I had a very good double chocolate bock, which got passed around like your loose sister. Saturday morning watched a little bit of espn game day then went to smokeys with my mom. Saturday afternoon went tailgating. The saddest thing in the world happened when the library lawn was conveniently closed for seeding and aeration.






So we were forced to tailgate besides the brumbelow building. It blowed hard
I made the trek over cardiac hill to see my family and eat their food. I got to see franky c. hadn't seen him in ages. Came back didnt see any fraternity, but saw a bunch of my old golf course buddies. Some of them are there now, others aren't, either way I was welcomed with open arms. We were playing Tulsa that night and like the previous games against smu and nmsu it went down to the wire. But we won. Paul brought along his annoying girlfriend. Who apparently graduated from hanks in 2001, but I had never seen her before in my life. I guess she wasn't into fine arts or AP. Afterwards everyone went to hemingways to hang out, I went out with someones girlfriend. I didn't know she was someones girlfriend. But her boyfriend called during our meal and I didn't know she was your girlfriend, but if you have a girlfriend and don't tell anyone and you are someones girlfriend but don't tell anyone, how would I know, and if I didn't know then im going to flirt. So now I know, but not before everyone made fun of me. Oh well. Sunday kinda sucked we had to go move furniture, because my mom's cousins parents died and so they were cleaning out their house. We had about 3 hours of chitting and chatting and only 30 minutes of work. I was getting kinda agitated because I had homework to do, so I got things going, and we ended up taking more stuff they we had planned too, and we ended up just putting it in the garage which made zekey extremely happy. Afterwards we had a party at the house. Chicken, ribs, and brisket mmmm bitch. I met two more cousins from Lubbock, theyre in high school, but new cousins are new cousins and I'll take that. Sunday night, drew, hash, alexa and I went to see death at a funeral. Extremely funny british comedy, Netflix it, youll like it. Monday was a non-holiday for everyone who doesn't work in the government, so I just chilled at home did homework, watched some girls kiss online, checked for cancer. Got on the road about 3 and was home by 8, I drove kind of slow. Another short story but that's all I have to say. See you next week.


jacob