My goodness what’s left to write about Bosnia after your fourth visit? Well if you know me and stories, I’m sure I’ll find something mundane to write about. So before we even get to talking about Bosnia let’s talk about British Airways. Their flights attendants were on strike so before we even left our flight was cancelled from London to Munich.
Friday
We left on Friday because the staff doesn’t want us getting there with any time to spare. We aren’t that important I guess. Nothing really out of the ordinary about our flight.
Saturday
It was interesting being in Heathrow on a Saturday. That place was dead. Normally we go through there on a Friday or Sunday; it’s a huge circus, but it was eerily quiet. Since our flight was cancelled and rebooked on jet2.com airlines. Its like the southwest of Europe I guess. Very economical, no frills, and you get only water. The seats are very aluminum, most of the plane is pretty aluminum come to think of it, but luckily it was only an hour or so flight. We landed in Munich where we were staying for the night. Before I even checked in, I ditched my friends and headed over to the donner place. Mmmm munich airport donner!! When I got to the hotel, they weren’t even checked in yet, so I hadn’t missed much. Went to my room and devoured it, then we were on the train headed to downtown Munich. We went straight to the Haufbrau House and had some litres of beer. Had some food, then we went for a walk. Found another beer hall, and did what, yeah that. By this time though, my eyelids were getting heavy as were everyone elses. We got back on the train and headed home.
Sunday
Went down to breakfast but it turns out the buffet was not included with our stay. Well it was 30 euros for the breakfast buffet, which is 40 some odd dollars US. I said nein and went down to the mcdonalds near the airport. Everything was in German go figure. But they did have this new ATM like ordering device, I ordered their version of the Egg McMuffin, two of them, had some orange juice, got my ticket and gave it to the guy. Gotsta love technology. A couple of my coworkers stumbled in and we ate together. Most of the people on the flight to Sarajevo were people we knew. Landed in Sarajevo and were at our hotel in about 15 minutes. We were in a new hotel this time. A much better hotel than the Holiday Inn. This one was also war torn and tattered, but it had been rebuilt. I had a much nicer room, much nicer bed, and much more comforting pillows. We had to get straight to work since Monday was the pre-conference. We were introducing some new software to make our lives easier. This didn’t go accordingly to plan like we had hoped. But at least we had happy lemon cola gummies to get us through. That night we went to a brewery for dinner. It was pretty rocking, the Sarajevo beer is not really good, but at the brewery you can order the dark beer. Its super delicious.
Monday
This was actually the first time I showered in the place, I know, Im such a pig boy. Well the bathroom was huge, two sinks, a bidet, a toilet, and standalone bathtub showering place. It was a tub with glass walls erected around it. I put the shower head in its holder above, so it could be used like a shower instead of some sort of body rinser. Well when I flipped the switch for shower, the amount of pressure coming out of the hose tilted it and it soaked the ceiling and the mirror and some clothes I set out to wear. It really felt like an I love lucy episode, because I tried to diver the water and then move my clothes, all the while the water is still coming. Then I came to my senses and switched the water off. For the rest of the week I had to use the shower like a hose.
Tuesday
This was the start of the meeting and like always they did the roll call of nations. Afterwards though, they gave a brief on sexual harassment. It was the most awkward thing I have ever sat through. First off, Sergeant First Class boring gave a really bad briefing. Secondly, most of these nations don’t have a concept of sexual harassment. Women aren’t equals, women don’t have rights, women are second class citizens in these countries. A lot of times women are there to make babies, serve their men, and be domesticated. So of course, for the participants who speak really good English, sexual harassment became the joke of the week. Hey don’t look at me, hey no touching, don’t speak to me, don’t look at me like that. It was pretty funny. Europeans as a whole are really touchy anyways, they are handshaky, huggy, pat on your backy, touch your shouldery, get close in your facey. That’s how they roll. This is an international consortium of cultures, its primarily US funded, but not US run. I didn’t really agree with the statement being given in this situation or to this audience. Tuesday night was the ice breaker. It was held at the officers club. A really nice place with cool paintings, big vaulted ceiling. They had some pretty good food and really nice liquor. My coworkers wanted to keep drinking so we went back to that brewery and had some more awesome beer. Had about two litres and was feeling good. Walked home with my arms spread wide like I was a plane.
Wednesday
Ohh not as big a hangover as I thought. I knew I hadn’t lost it, stupid toxic Armenian beer. Did some more work and just chilled near the hotel. Didn’t feel like taking a taxi downtown. Had a chickenburger at a restaurant within walking distance.
Thursday
Again just kicked it at work and didn’t really do much, or at least anything I can remember. Although, our hotel did have bowling in it. So, after dinner, a couple of coworkers went bowling. Poor little fellas, a lot of them slipped on the oil. The lone girl in the group, who we all dogged, ended up coming in the pack door and beating us. Im an avid shit talker and she just smiled coyly at me like she knew what she was doing all along. Cheeky bastard!!
Friday
We closed up shop this day, we didn’t have an out briefing. Nor did we have a cultural tour or cultural dinner. That pissed me off, yes we weren’t supposed to go to Bosnia, but that fact changed two months prior. I can plan a party for 200 people in two months. You just find a big hall, get your army band, and get some caterers, how hard, HOW HARD???? So instead of getting dressed up for those things, we went to old town, walked around, shopped a little, and then went back to the brewery. It sounds kind of weak to keep patronizing a restaurant, but it was super delicious, and it’s pretty easy. Again, due to the British Airways strike our flight was cancelled again. Instead of having an overnight in Germany which I was generally looking forward to, we were going to go all the way to London. So what does that mean, party with Nina Cocina.
Saturday
Slept in a little bit and headed up to breakfast. Went to the top of the building and took some pictures. Then we flew to Munich. I really hate, and Im going to say this again, getting off an airplane, getting to the terminal and having to go through security again. I didn’t get unsecure in my 1000 ft journey. Well the entire plane was transferring somewhere in Europe, but we actually had to change terminals. Which meant going through customs and getting more passport stamps, MY FAVORITE. Well, going through Munich airport is one of my favorite things because that means another chance to get some delicious donner. After we chowed down we headed to the British Airways terminal and flew to London. I was landing about 4 pm and figured I would need at least two hours to get luggage, go through customs, get to the Hilton and then make it down to London where I would meet Nina. Well I needed two hours to do all of that, but it still left me with an hour train ride to downtown. So I found myself in Picadilly Circus and no Nina. I told Nina 7ish and it was 750. Not exactly 7ish. So I walked around a little, hoping that I would be able to find her, but alas, no Nina. So I walked around and got lost in Chinatown. A delicious mistake, ended up at Mr. Wu’s Grand Buffet. It was super tasty, my goodness it was super tasty. Got back to the hotel about 10 and went to bed.
Sunday
Our flight wasn’t super early. I got up about 6 and was down in the lobby about 7. We were leaving around 1030. Stopped at the Krispy Kreme and grabbed a nice juicy delicious frosted chocolate cake donut. I went ahead, took the liberty, and check my entire team in through the first class check in. Yeah, life is good. The real first class passengers weren’t upset as I thought they would, this batch must not have been huge assholes. The flights were pretty easy, nothing really happened. I didn’t sleep too much, I think I might have watched about 4 movies maybe 5 movies.
So, to who it may concern, this trip to Bosnia was much better than the three previous. I highly recommend not going to Bosnia, but if you must, just don’t do it four times. I didn’t get to see Nina which sucked, but it was still a pretty good trip.
So see you next time in Boston.
Love,
jakester
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