phoenix phun

So as many of you know, we didn’t hang out much this Christmas and New Years because I really wasn’t there. Spent Christmas in Grenada and I was only home dec 31 night through Jan 2 morning. Not much time. That’s because I went to the Cardinals v. Flacons game and to the fiesta bowl. I was pretty happy with the drive from El Paso to Phoenix. I did it in about 6 hours, roughly. I was going to the Hampton Inn at the airport. Go there and my Dad was waiting in the lobby for me, but I couldn’t find him. “I’m right here in the lobby, where are you?”, “Uhhh, here too, where are you?” Wait…..is there more than one Hampton Inn Airport. “Yes, there is north and south.” Easy Hampton Inn trying to corner the hotel market. After everyone got to the hotel nothing was really open except for Applebee’s, yum ½ price appetizers and drinks after 10.
The next day we went on a mission to get AZ paraphernalia. Since I don’t know my way around Phoenix we were relying on my brother’s iPhone to get turn by turn directions. This turned into the biggest Eggemeyer ball busting I’ve ever been a part of. I don’t really know how to use an iphone, so trying to use the gps directions was slightly complicated. Everyone was ragging on me for getting “lost” and even Zach busted me, it was his first time. We googled mall directions, but we ended up getting directions to a medical mall. It was just a bunch of doctor offices and hospitals. So eventually we ended up at a mall in Prescott which is way east of where we wanted to be. The drive to Glendale was pretty chill, the stadium looks like a UFO in the middle of Canutillo. We parked out in the boonies, but were able to get a shuttle. The stadium was packed and loud and we were on the fourth tier, so it was kind of a hike and we missed most of the introductions. We ended up being on the top top top row, but it wasn’t too bad because we were on the 35-40. The game was great, a flea flicker and Fitzgerald, Bouldin, and James tearing it up. We had quite a few beers, I went on a beer run and when I came back some drunk bum was sitting next to my dad chatting him up because he wanted to know what the view from up there looked liked. Whatever drunk bum. So you all know the outcome of the game and I don’t really know football so I can’t really describe what it is I like or what was going on, but it was loud and awesome. So the Cards beat the Falcons even though no one expected them to and we went out on a pizza quest. Finally found one and it was money. It was a pretty long day and everyone else except me had to get up early, so they all went to bed.
They woke me up, all three of them because they are asses, but I was able to get back to sleep. I woke up and had some rockin continental breakfast, worked out, watched some pron, and then went to see my cousin Dan who had invited me to the Fiesta Bowl. A little about Dan, he just got back from Iraq, hasn’t had any alcohol in 7 months, hasn’t spent any money, and has an insatiable desire to party. So as soon as I got there we went and got some sushi. We went to some place and ordered way too much. So much that the waitress actually said, Wow you all are really hungry. Yeah, bitch, bring me my benzo box. Then Dan, in all his infatuation, really wanted some Sprinkles. Sprinkles is an upscale bougy cupcake place for stuck up white bitches wearing Uggs. He got a delicious red velvet cupcake. After that we went back and chilled until we went out to a Texas Exes event. It sucked bad; I’ve never seen so many crappy Texas people in all my life. Although I did see a 6’10” woman, my head only went to her shoulders. Some Mexican only went up to her ass, poor bastard. The event wasn’t popping, so we went to some crappy bib place. It was called Luanne’s or something like that. The wait staff was ranting and raving about the food, it was crap. And not just because I’m from Texas, it’s because it was crap. We went back to the crappy Texas ex’s party, stayed for awhile and then went to mill ave. There weren’t any hot co-eds, but there were some really cool bars. We went to a place called library and to another cool bar. There mostly Texas people there. A few buckeyes and of course they got into scuffles. We continued drinking and got a taxi, the next morning was pretty tough, I was very thirsty. We finally got up and got some food, we went to a place called the Salty Senorita. Next we went to the game and parked in the same place, Dan got into a fight with the parking attendants. $30 for parking and a mile walking to the game. We went to the world’s biggest tailgate party, hosted by Tostitos. It was very good, but we did get free Tostitos, hot dogs, sodas. Not bad. There were lots of sponsors, Toyota, Taco Bell, Samsung; all giving away swag. Next, we went into the game and went up to the nosebleeds. The UT side of the stadium was packed, but the Ohio state side was not filled. So they were out cheered. The Ohio state band did the scripts Ohio, which was pretty sweet. The game was pretty boring, until the 3rd and 4th quarter. I wasn’t happy for the outcome, but I was happy for Dan. There were a couple of scuffles in the stands. Those were pretty good. Dan and Ryan had drunk a bottle of Makers between themselves. So Dan was really happy and talking trash to OSU people. After we got back to the hotel, we ordered pizza. It turned out the pizza deliverer was an OU grad. Dan busted on him about Boise state running the statue of liberty play. He said that wasn’t the first time he heard it that night. Dan peed himself he was so happy. The night pretty much was over and in the morning I went back to work. That’s about it, it’s been a month and I’ve been off gallivanting around the globe, so there you go. The next four weeks will have blogs dropped. Thanks for reading.

Besos,

Jacob