I was very blessed the last two years for Christmas and New Years to fall on a Sunday and a Monday. This is because I could ask for four days off and in return get 10 total days off. This year both were on a Tuesday so I asked for 4 days off and got only 9. I left work on Friday the 21st and made it home in time for dinner. This was the first time I made it home since little egg had party hardy with rich and famous African Americans in Miami. So my whole entire family was talking about it when I arrived at the table. And just like the game telephone, with each person's retelling of the story it's bigger and more lavish each time. By the time I sat down Sammy was dating Shaq, she was 5'10", big breasts, and an Abercrombie model. None which are true, so I reset the story, but once you hear the fun Hollywood version you really don't want to go back to Green Acres. Friday night was rock band at Ians and drinking at Paul Paul house, he was annihilated, but he's the world's greatest maître when he is drunk, took my order and gave me a paper napkin when I was seated. Saturday I went to play some racquetball and got my ass handed to me by a world champion. After we were finished playing he asked me how old I was and I said 24 and he said he had been playing that long. So I didn't feel so bad. He then told me not to feel bad because he was the former champion. I said of what, Mexico? He said no, the world. Turns out he won the 18 and under world championship years ago. So then I was honored to have been whooped by a world champion. Saturday afternoon we went to Cousin Daniels grandmother's birthday party and I fell asleep. My mother was embarrassed, but he's my uncle and I can fall asleep on his couch if I feel like it. Then I went to my other uncle's house and saw my cousin godson who I hadn't seen since his birth. He loves to dance and to climb. He's pretty awesome. Saturday night we went to mavericks and saw everyone, had a good time, and everyone called bullshit on little eggs story. Sunday was church and nothing else and I don't think anyone was doing anything that night. Or I can't remember, it was almost two months ago. Monday was more racquetball in the morning and then lunch with Melissa; we went and scored some taco cabana. Most pleasant conversation, I was able to talk her ear off for 1 hour straight without being interrupted or without becoming hoarse afterwards. I just told her story after story, and she enjoyed herself, maybe she feigned enjoyment, but I'll take company anyway I can get it. Monday night was Christmas Eve so we had to go to church 4 hours early so we could get a seat. It was okay nothing to memorable. Christmas Eve my family got pretty inebriated, (God bless us, everyone), myself included. Everyone had their turn being burned; I unveiled a new dance, which was quickly shot down. Tony and I compared our wallets, (DoD contractors), to our military cousins, (Navy, Marines), ours were incredibly thick compared to theirs. Christmas didn't start until 11 am, thankfully, opened up presents. Everything I got I needed or wanted. Towels, clock, alarm clock, gloves, shirt, sweater, money, and gift cards. Thank you Santa. Christmas day the entire family met at a church hall for some lunch dinner, I tried to do my best but I was a little too hung over so I only ate two plates. Christmas night we went to Paul Paul's house for a little battle of the sex's trivial pursuit. I answered my two questions and felt proud. I was also the team mascot.
We lost because they got a bunch of easy questions. Two of their pie questions were on harry potter, give me a break. The next day the 26th Ian and I and Colin and Phil went to Taos for 5 days to go skiing. Taos was already 90% open with a 150cm base. Skiing conditions were excellent and very cold. All three days were at 0 or below. At the top of the mountain it was -10 and a water bottle in my jacket froze through. The last two days we rocked the Valkyrie run which is a tree run, very exciting. Nasty spills into 5 6 feet deep snow piles. Then we rocked the Hunziker bowl, which is mostly moguls but very challenging. Every day for lunch we had giant turkey sandwiches and little Debbie's oatmeal cream pies. At night we rocked out with our cocks out playing rock band. As it turns out I'm phenomenal. Just so you know. Coming home it was a giant fart session, who can out do whom. I didn't participate because I don't produce gas, but I had to suffer through it anyway. When I got home my parents had ditched me for Cloudcroft and I was only left with drew who as you all know is always happy to see me. So the night of the 30th was a Sunday and no one wanted to hang out. So I stayed home and watched family stone, which I've made a tradition since its inception. The next day was New Years Eve and I had no plans or at least everyone was undecided. So I went and spent some gift cards and returned a gift from Catherine. She thought I was fat and bought me a belt that was too big. Little does she know I have a massive two-pack, and then I went to see my dad's aunt and uncle and chat and drink with them. After that I came home and got ready for dinner, grandma took me to dinner and she slammed down a few scotch and sodas. Shes awesome like that, 4'10", maybe 95 pounds, probably can out drink me. For New Years Eve, I invited myself to hang out with Catherine, Annette, Nina cocina or Nina vagina (however you want to pronounce her name), and one of the Carrillo twins, not sure which. We went to the shadow bar, which was okay, I didn't really care for the techno music but then had Johnny black, so I was happy camper. Continued to drink and was thoroughly inebriated by the time we left. We dropped Catherine off and then went back out to TC. I've never waited so long to for food at TC in all my life, no matter time of day. Juse showed up and I talked with him for awhile. Chugged a few glasses of water and went to bed. Woke up at 1130, completely not-hung-over, made a massive dish of huevos con Peyton's chorizo. Peyton's chorizo is absolutely the greatest concoction of animal parts and spices ever assembled. Watched just friend, which is also a tradition I started. Packed my stuff waited for my mom to kiss me goodbye and was off. Made it home safely.
i think i hate john mccainjacob
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