25 on the 25th

25 on the 25th

I turned 25 on the 25th and when I awoke this morning I didn't feel any different; although I had some slight back pain. Not because I'm old, but because I did dead lifts yesterday. Leading up to this day I was really dreading the well wishes. Except for my friends who started kindergarten when they were 4 I'm one of the last people in my school year to turn 25. I talked a lot of shit over the last year, "You're old as balls, old as shit, old as dirt, how does it feel being a quarter of a century, you're that old and what have you accomplished, mas viejo, mas vieja, and you smell like a grandparent" I was not really looking forward to the reciprocal of that. Most of my friends who are older than me told me to shut the hell up. When my mother told me to shut the hell right up, I felt better, at least I don't have a 25 year old kid. One of my grandma's turns 80 this year, she told me to suck it, in so many words.



I thought about being depressed, but I don't know how to do that. I thought I would write a eulogy to the spring of my life and a stern warning to the summer saying, "Alright you didn't totally foul up the spring, so lets make the summer better." I decided against that though, since 4:21 p.m July 25, 1983 coming out the dirty H-town Ive done a lot and have experienced a lot. So instead of writing a down in dumps, doom and gloom, shitty blog, Im going to write the greatest love fest, superfluous filled, superlative laden, exaggerated, pluperfect, prepotent, incalculable, incomputable, monumental, prodigious, stupendous, tremendous, spectacular, breathtaking, striking, wonderful piece of literature about myself. It will be so filled with the awesome that is me that you may want to stop being my friend due to how far you pale in comparison.



--Cue curtain rise



Here are a few things I have on the average American and frankly for that matter the average Earthman.

Im taller, smarter, healthier, leaner, thinner, and hotter than most

I have more education, more friends, more family, and better racquetball skills than most

I have more frequent flier miles and time spent in the car, only Matty Brown is a bigger polluter than me.

I make more money than the average person and do less work for it.

I can dunk a basketball

I can ski through the trees

Ive been to 8 countries

I can out drink any 5th grader

I can beat you at trivia, Hash might have something to say about this

I know more acronyms than you, I do military IT, you know its true

I can cheers in six languages

Of all your friends, Im your mother's favorite

I have more HRC pins than you

I can drink scotch straight

I have a competent communicator in Toastmasters





That's all I can think of right now, but its pretty good stuff. It's a lot of stuff for 25 years and with 75 years more to live I can accomplish even more. Thank you all for the birthday cards, birthday wishes, facebook and myspace love, and phone calls. It meant a lot.





See you shortly,



jake